By Desiree LeRoy
Message alert
the scan showed four spots on my lungs
i have a biopsy tomorrow
he said short of a miracle
it is cancer
i just want to start the meds and be clear
i have a lot of fight in me
i replied, you do
Message alert
it’s weird
it blows air into the hospital gown
to keep me warm
i turned it off cause I was getting sweaty, lol
i deflated myself
you sent a picture, your head adorned in a hospital beret, your face scared but a familiar silly
Message alert
i’m nervous
but ready to know
once they have all the facts
they can attack
i love you
Message alert
i haven’t gotten the results back yet
but I promise to let you know ASAP
any pointers when you choreograph a dance?
i kind of scratched out a routine on the plane
i need to cut the song
i also need to work on my toe fall
you sent a picture of the mountains
Message alert
i got the biopsy results back
cancer
i have to keep fighting
also, can I teach my work friends the hip hop routine you taught me?
i gotta try and break it down
work it, girl
Message alert
i have a scan in a few weeks
to find out if the treatment
is working
until then
just keepin going
Message alert
hey
can you update the gofundme?
it needs to say
stage 4
metastatic breast cancer
it has now spread
to my lungs and brain
--
we met after your brain surgery
we sipped on chamomile tea
melting into your living room
laughing all afternoon
you asked about donating a box of shampoo to a local shelter
our last dinner
you shared travel plans
filling every month of the year
you could barely eat
but you still said mmm after every bite
tikka masala riches
i was scared
but your flight schedule held us both
our texts, sacred
i will never delete your contact
our exchanges of life, love, fear, and onward
your dance of messages, forever mine
herceptin autocorrected to perspective
and
ibrance autocorrected to vibrance
so I’m taking those with me
strength remains strength
and i refuse to type the word forget
Follow Desiree on Instagram: @somaticpoetry
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