By Heather Salazar
Content warning: death and dying
My life was saved, and forever changed, by a very unlikely person.
Alexis was a 23-year-old single mother who was raised in the foster care system in 17 different homes. When I met Alexis, she was nearing the end of her life. She had stage IV breast cancer and was looking for someone to raise her 9-month-old baby girl.
The previous week at our church, there were five couples on the big screen struggling with infertility. I called each of them to tell them about this precious, healthy baby girl. They had a problem with the color of her skin. I had a problem with them!
I couldn’t stop thinking about this young mom and her baby with zero support. That was unimaginable from someone who has a family like mine…
Alexis rode home from chemo on the public bus. That is not okay. I couldn’t sleep.
After three nights, my husband Steve was like, “What is wrong with you?”
I tell him. I beg him to meet Alexis. He says, “Heather… seriously? We already have three kids and our youngest isn’t even 2 yet!” I beg, and beg and BEG. Finally he agrees to meet Alexis. You know, just to help with groceries… So there we are, in the back of a grocery store parking lot. One with a bus stop in it so that Alexis could take the bus to come meet us.
I remember it like it was yesterday. This tiny woman, maybe 100 pounds sopping wet, gets off the bus wearing a black mini skirt and a neon pink wig. She walked with such authority. She walked right past me and straight up to Steve and said, “I need help. I want my baby to have a better life than I did.” Steve’s heart melted into a puddle, and within the week we began the process of adopting Lexi.
We became a family of six and our two girls, only 11 months apart, even slept in the same crib. We took Alexis to treatment and let her spend as much time with baby Lexi as she had the energy to do.
Alexis passed away shortly after turning 24. It is still the toughest thing I have ever witnessed. To see someone so young who was so scared to die was absolutely gut wrenching.
About 18 months after we adopted Lexi, she was adjusted enough that she could stay with my parents, and Steve and I went away for our anniversary. I was 31. On that trip, I did my first ever self breast exam and I found a lump. I wasn’t worried. I still thought I was invincible. I thought that lump was nothing; Steve wasn’t so sure.
Four days later, I was diagnosed with the EXACT same type of aggressive breast cancer (ER/PR- HER2+) that took Lexi’s first mom.
I was angry. Very angry. My kids had just witnessed Alexis die from this awful disease. How could this be happening? Was Lexi going to lose TWO moms to breast cancer before she even entered kindergarten?
Not only did Alexis give us the incredible gift of Lexi, but she also saved my life. As she was dying, Alexis told me to make sure young women did self breast exams. If it wasn’t for Alexis, I would never have done that self breast exam. I wouldn’t have found that lump. I would have been dead long before my first mammogram at 40.
After a double mastectomy, Adriamycin/Cytoxan chemotherapy, and a year of Herceptin targeted therapy, I was declared cancer-free. While I was thrilled to be alive, I was haunted by the idea of those that have to face this battle alone.
I had zero experience and nothing more than a pipe dream about helping people after they were diagnosed, but I wrote a grant because I felt like I needed to do something. One afternoon I got back in my car and my phone was blowing up. It was announced on The Ellen Show, we were awarded the grant! The grantor was a billionaire out of Houston — not your typical foundation. And lucky for me, he believed in pipe dreams.
My 501 (c)(3) nonprofit, Pink Ribbon Good (PRG), started providing healthy meals, rides to treatment, house cleaning essentials, and peer support services to four women battling stage IV breast cancer in Ohio.
I’d deliver meals after dropping my kids off at school or between their sports practices. We delivered 10,250 meals that first year and we were so proud. I’m happy to report that in June 2023 we delivered our one millionth meal!
What started as a crazy little pipe dream is now making sure brave fighters battling breast and gynecological cancers from San Francisco, CA to Buffalo, NY don’t have to travel this road alone.
While this job isn’t always easy, it is such a privilege to get out of bed every day and know with every fiber of your being that you have found a way to put a purpose to your pain. To not be resentful of that pain, but instead see how it fueled what was to come next.
Heather Salazar
Pink Ribbon Good
President & CEO
Read More:
On the Podcast: Breast Cancer Conversations
Young and Diagnosed: A Journey to Motherhood & Parenting
with Triple Positive Breast Cancer
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