By Carol Collins
770 days since that call
602 days since I finished poisoning my body.
573 days since my breasts changed for forever.
The days have passed, and I am moving forward but not moving on somehow.
My amazing coworker comments almost weekly on how much she loves my hair, “it’s so beautiful” she says. I take the well-intended compliment because she has only known me for 5 months. She doesn’t know the version of me I wish I could still see in the mirror some days. My after-chemo curls and gray hair are not BEAUTIFUL to me. They are a reminder that I will never be the same. I can move forward but not on.
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