By William Laferriere
unraveling the knots of my heart
(dedicated to the many known unknowns)
Pain, a throbbing pulsation within the chest,
why do you linger? why do you persist?
memories are like thorns,
they pierce the present,
but what if...
what if we could transcend?
forgiveness,
it’s but a whisper in the night,
can I be the balm?
can I transform?
the weight of grudges, so heavy to bear,
& yet letting go feels like falling through white mountain air
who am I without this pain?
my identity seems wrapped in wounds,
and usually in vain,
but forgiveness beckons,
a kind and gentle hand,
offering up a well lit path
for to forgive is to free oneself,
but how? when anger feels like home,
like clay molded around my heart,
familiar, known,
yet suffocating,
leaving me alone
breathe… breathe in forgiveness,
breathe out spite,
a mantra in the dark,
a flickering, shimmering light,
each exhale releases a fragment of pain and hurt,
each inhale, a chance to assert
for I am more than my pain,
more than the sum of loss and gain.
forgiveness, not for them, but for me,
a key to unlock, to set myself free
but wait—is it that simple? that clean?
to wash away tears and a multitude of years,
to wipe that bloody slate clean?
perhaps it’s a journey,
not a destination,
a daily choice,
an enjoyable & quiet liberation
forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting,
it’s understanding,
it’s resetting
a narrative we tell ourselves
choosing peace over the need to be right
and in this course,
this conscious shift,
I find that pain begins to fade
not all at once, but in waves, in stages,
turning hurt into wisdom, life’s but a process
rewritten with compassion’s pen,
for others, yes, but for myself, again and again and again
for in forgiving others, we forgive ourselves
nurturing the light that always follows
so let it go, let it blossom, let it flow,
like a river to the sea,
let it go
let it go
it transforms through the alchemy of forgiveness
into strength,
into empathy,
into you and into me
evolving, growing, forever becoming,
no longer trapped in its numbing
forgiveness: a philosophy of the heart,
where healing and wisdom commence as one
and in this stream of conscious thought,
I find that peace was not purchased
but cultivated,
nurtured from within,
where forgiveness and love have always been.
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