By Casey Kang
Cancer changes more than just your body. It shakes up how you see yourself and leaves behind challenges that go way beyond the physical. Whether your treatment ends or is ongoing, people around you might expect life to “go back to normal” at some point – but for many of us, that’s far from reality.
This is especially true for those living with metastatic cancer. On the outside, everything may look fine, but inside, you’re still trying to figure out what normal even means now and move forward. Many people living with metastatic disease may look “healthy,” despite being in cancer treatment. It can be hard to continue to move forward when there is no treatment “finish line,” so to speak.
I understand the challenges of cancer treatment and beyond because I’ve been there myself. My name is Casey Kang, and I’ve faced cancer three times. The first time I was diagnosed, I was just 31. Cancer didn’t just challenge my body – it shook my confidence, my sense of self, and my ability to trust my own instincts. Through that journey, I learned something important: real healing takes more than time – it takes care, compassion, and courage to face what’s beneath the surface.
Here are three common ways trauma might be affecting your life, even if it’s been years since your treatment ended – and how you can start feeling more like yourself again.
1. You’re Keeping Busy to Avoid What’s Really Going On
Staying busy can feel like a coping strategy, right? It’s easier to fill your time with work, errands, and taking care of everyone else than to sit still and face what’s really going on inside. But that constant busyness? It’s a form of avoidance, and while it might help in the short term, it doesn’t get rid of the underlying stress.
How it might look:
You tell yourself, “I’m too busy,” and fill your schedule with tasks. You’re always on the go, focused on everyone else’s needs while ignoring your own. On the surface, it seems like you’ve got everything under control. But inside, there’s a growing sense of exhaustion and unease.
Avoiding your emotions might make you feel safe in the moment, but it only postpones the healing process. You don’t have to carry everything alone – it’s okay to slow down and make space for what you’re feeling. Slowing down doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re giving yourself what you need to truly heal.
2. You Want to Make Changes, But You Feel Stuck
You’ve probably told yourself, “I need to take better care of myself and get healthy,” more times than you can count. You genuinely want to feel better – maybe that means exercising more, eating healthier, or finding time to rest. But every time you try to start, something seems to hold you back.
How it might look:
You’ve got good intentions, but when it comes time to take action, things don’t go as planned. Maybe you start a new routine but can’t stick with it or keep telling yourself, “I’ll start tomorrow.” After a while, it’s easy to feel stuck and wonder if you’ll ever find the motivation again.
This isn’t about willpower – it’s about trauma. Trauma keeps your body stuck in survival mode, making it hard to find the energy to do what you know will help. The key isn’t forcing yourself to push harder – it’s about taking small, manageable steps and learning how to support yourself along the way.
3. You’re Waiting for Things to Get Better with Time
How many times have you heard someone say, “Just give it time, and you’ll feel better”? Time alone doesn’t heal trauma. Without the right kind of care, those feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and exhaustion don’t fade – they build.
How it might look:
You might think, “Maybe I just need more time,” or hear loved ones say, “It’ll be okay eventually.” But as the months or even years go by, you still feel stuck in the same place. I’ve worked with women who are 5, 10, and even 15 years post treatment, and the feelings they’re struggling with haven’t gone away on their own. They just continue to magnify.
Trauma needs more than time – it needs compassion, patience, and the right tools to help your body release what it’s holding onto.
Trauma isn’t just something you think about – it’s something your body holds onto. You might be able to talk about what happened, but until your body feels safe again, those old patterns of stress and fear can stick around. That’s why you might feel fine one minute, and then something small – like a smell, a sound, or even a thought – can send you spiraling the next.
This is where somatic (body-based) healing comes in. Somatic healing focuses on gently tuning into your body, noticing what’s happening without judgment, and creating space for those sensations to shift. For example, a simple somatic practice might be taking a few minutes to notice your breath or scanning your body for areas of tension. These exercises can help signal to your brain that you’re safe, reducing stress and promoting calm.
Unlike traditional talk therapy, which starts with your thoughts and works from the top down, somatic work takes a bottom-up approach – focusing on calming the body first so the mind can follow, making it easier to process emotions and regain a sense of control.
If any of this feels familiar, know this: you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. What you’re feeling is a normal response to an extraordinary experience. Healing isn’t about “fixing” yourself – it’s about offering yourself the same care and compassion you give to others.
You are surviving after a cancer diagnosis, and that’s no small thing. It takes strength, courage, and resilience, every single day – whether you’re currently in treatment, finished with treatment, or living with metastatic disease. Now, it’s time to turn some of that strength inward – to care for yourself as deeply as you care for the people around you. It’s now your full-time job to take care of you first. Maybe for the first time, ever.
Because you’re worth it. Every bit of it.
Casey
Trauma-Informed Cancer Coach & 3x Survivor
Together we are Stronger!
About the Author:
Casey Kang is a three-time cancer survivor and a trauma-informed cancer coach. Drawing from her personal experience and professional training, she is passionate about helping female cancer survivors move beyond survival mode and thrive in their “new normal” by addressing the emotional and physical impact of cancer trauma. Learn more about her 13-week program, A Happier Healthier You, here.
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